do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
