Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize