3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
plz talk dirty to me
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
