omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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