yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Come on in and take your pants off
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
