I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i've created a new STD.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
