I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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