I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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