I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
