I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize