You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
