You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize