i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
