I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
