Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
