And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize