i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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