WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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