he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
