Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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