I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
