yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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