I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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