This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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