we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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