This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
