Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I've blown a few things in my day
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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