Screwed.edu
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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