I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I party with great urgency now.
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