i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
