what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
