so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
thus making me awesome and them whores
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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