I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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