Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
