i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
