I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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