I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
