Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I need moral support for this bender
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
