This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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