butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
