Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
