WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
