At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
