also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
