We're like a lot better than the average bears
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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