I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
