So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
