imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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