I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
