so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
