Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
