Christians are straight up FREAKS
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
