I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
