Do you still have your period?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize