When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
