the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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