there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
