Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize