Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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