You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
