dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
