I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
